


Just in Time (or Perhaps a Little Too Fast, Depending on Who You Ask)

by wolfmagic48



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Biting, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Fluff and Angst, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Teasing, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-18 12:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12387804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfmagic48/pseuds/wolfmagic48
Summary: Ruki has a crush on his math tutor. Well, according to him, they're in love. Either way, he's excited to go home and do math after school today. If you can call staring at a pretty boy doing math. Ruki thinks it counts.





	1. Chapter 1

Was it wrong to think he was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on? 

Ruki giggled, trying to push the thought from his mind because it really didn’t matter, did it? Someone liked him, for gods sake, like he was going to worry about who that person was.

“So you’re just, like, making it up as you go? Improvising in that position?”

“That’s what she said.”

“I meant situation, Aoi. Don’t be an asshole.”

“You just don’t get it,” said Ruki, closing his locker. “When you fall in love, you’ll understand.”

Kai sighed, seemingly in defeat, “Just, be safe, okay? I know he seems like perfection right now, but you never know, especially with older guys. I just don’t want you to have any regrets. I’m just looking out for you because I like you.”

“That’s what she said.”

Kai turned to Aoi, fire in his eyes, “Shut the fuck up.”

Ruki giggled again, slapping Kai on the shoulder, “Loosen up, man. You’ll give yourself a stroke if you keep up worrying like this.” And Ruki headed for the exit at a brisk pace, excited to see his after-school tutor again.

~

It doesn’t matter if it’s wrong to think he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on, because he is. He’s got skin that looks sweet and smooth like dessert, creamy and pale and perfect. He’s got eyes that sparkle in the dimmest light and lips lusher than cherry blossoms in April. He’s got an awkward grace in his movements, too, and Ruki enjoys the way the man’s long fingers trail across the words of this worksheet, tracing Ruki’s scribbled numbers in a slow, delicate sort of way. Maybe the word is caress? Ruki isn’t sure, but he thinks it’s something like that.

“You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

“Ah-“

“Yeah, you have no fucking idea.” He sat the paper down on the table, turning it to face Ruki and describing what Ruki should have done to solve the math problem, and it was all very interesting except it wasn’t the math that was interesting but the spicy smell of his cologne and the way his long hair fell forward and obscured part of his face, tickling that slick, inviting muscle…

“Now you try,” the man handed Ruki a pen and motioned for him to write.

“Ah-“ Ruki stared at the sheet, at the jumble of symbols and x’s and numbers and whatever the fuck _that_ was and he looked up at the man in front of him, expectation in his eyes, and Ruki figured he could at least pretend he knew what the man had said.

“Hold on, you’re skipping a step.” The man took the pen from Ruki and scribbled something, handing it back to Ruki. The pen was warm in Ruki’s hand, and as Ruki wrote it seemed like the ink was running faster, or maybe…

“Yeah, that’s right. I think you get it. We’ll work on it next time.”

“S-s-s-sounds g-g-good.” Ruki hated the way he stuttered around him, like a fucking idiot.

“I can tell you aren’t paying attention, anyway.”

“What? No! I’m paying attention!”

“I don’t know, your pants are pretty tight, there.”

“What!”

Uruha made a pointed glance down and slightly over the table, cocking his head slightly, “I’m not stupid, Ruki. I think we have some time before your parents come home, if you…” Uruha’s voice trails off, confidence suddenly folding.

“U-u-u-uummm we don’t have time so-“

“It’d only take a minute. Besides, it looks like you could use some help.”

“Ah, I don’t need help with that-that-that so-“

Uruha shrugged, standing up from the table, “Sorry, I guess I misunderstood.”

“No!” Ruki shouted, voice echoing a bit more then he would have liked. “I mean, if you’d like to help, I-“

Ruki’s sentence was caught between a foreign tooth biting into his lip, and he backed away, startled.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t very good-“

“No, that was perfect,” And Ruki wrapped his arms around Uruha’s neck, kissing him back. Uruha kissed him back with a little less teeth and he grabbed Ruki’s tricep, lifting him to standing. Ruki could feel a little smile against his lip, which he kissed and melded into his sensory memory without him even trying.

“Which way’s your room?”

Ruki shoved Uruha towards the hall. “To the left a little.” Then he kissed Uruha again. His lips were addictive and sweet and he saliva didn’t taste like anything at all and it doesn’t make sense that that would be sexy as hell, but for some reason it tasted like some kind of romantic soulmate bullshit and Ruki just couldn’t get enough of it. It was heady and was making him feel like someone had put a cattle prod to his brain. It was almost so much it hurt but mostly it was pleasant and tingly and Ruki just wanted to feel if forever.

Uruha shoved him, and Ruki fell back gracelessly into his bed, Uruha equally ungraceful on top of him. “I have been waiting for this.”

“Then kiss me.” Ruki demanded, closing his eyes and waiting for Uruha to lean down and kiss him again. He didn’t disappoint, lips meeting his again before trailing away from the tender skin of his mouth and down the smooth skin of Ruki’s neck, rolling the subtle skin there between his teeth. Ruki gasped and squirmed, tilting his head to the side so Uruha had better access and he trailed further down, marking a trail from just below his gauge all the way down to his collar bone. Ruki hadn’t noticed he was rocking up into Uruha at first, but then Uruha thrusted back. Ruki gasped again, “Uruha, that’s so good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes-s-s-s.” Somehow, in this situation, Ruki didn’t think a little bit of a stutter sounded that stupid. “Uruha, I-“

“Yeah Ruki? What does the little boy want?”

Ruki rolled his hips, hoping that made his point. It seemed to, because Uruha reached down, fumbling with his belt.

“Shit-“

“Here, let me.” Ruki shoved Uruha’s hand away, unclasping the metal and shoving the skin-tight fabric of his jeans down to expose his thighs. Uruha rolled them the rest of the way off, smiling.

“What?”

“That all for me?”

Ruki could feel a blush creeping to his cheeks, “Yes. It’s all for you.” It was embarrassing, and yet Ruki felt proud of it, too, spreading his legs a little and propping himself up a little on one elbow, crooking a finger at Uruha.

“And how am I supposed to resist a little boy that cute?”

If Ruki wasn’t blushing before, he _definitely_ was now. “Mmm, I don’t think you’re supposed to.”

“Sweet,” Uruha knelt between Ruki’s spread legs, leaning down to kiss him again. Ruki fell back into the mattress and rolled his hips up again. Uruha laughed, low and bubbly in a way only mature men could pull off, and man did that shit turn Ruki on. “You want me to touch you?”

“Yes, yes please.” Ruki rocked his hips up again, but the warmth of Uruha’s groin didn’t meet him this time.

“Please? Just please?” Uruha was sitting back a bit, holding himself just out of range for Ruki to touch easily, but close enough for Ruki to feel how warm he was, a sort of teasing that was easy to get around. Ruki tried to shift down the bed, but Uruha pressed two fingers against Ruki’s solar plexus, just hard enough to discourse Ruki from moving but not hard enough to hurt. Two fingers. Two fingers, that was all it took for Uruha to completely control him in the position. It was psychotic, in some ways, how much Ruki loved this and how little fear he felt in the moment. After all, as Kai loved to point out, Uruha was five years older then him, a senior who somehow made gangly gorgeous.

“Pretty please?”

Uruha laughed again pressing into Ruki’s thin muscles slightly, and Ruki could feel the blood throbbing in his groins, “Cute, but I was hoping you’d show your sir some respect.”

“Please _sir._ ” Ruki drew out the word, eyes sparkling with mischief that Uruha just couldn’t get enough of.

“Since you asked so nicely.” Uruha’s fingers traced down Ruki’s stomach, freezing when he reached Ruki’s hipbone. Ruki drew in a sharp breath, and then Uruha tapped his fingers against the muscles of Ruki’s thighs.

“Uruha, please, sir-“

“Oh, right.” Uruha sudden took his fingers away from Ruki’s thighs and replaced them around Ruki. Ruki rocked up to meet him. It it was bliss, the kind that made the base of his brain tingle and he giggled again.

“What’s so funny?” Uruha’s seems sparkled, pupils wide and smile full of teeth that made Ruki think of the hickey blossoming on his neck.

“It just feels _so_ good,” Ruki watched as Uruha eyes shifted from mischievous to glazed and unfocused, almost drunk but a bit too bright to be that.

“You think you could come for me?” Uruha asked, hands firm and rough, thumb sliding over the head and leaving Ruki breathless. 

“Uruha-“

“Come on cutie, I know you got it in there.”

_Cutie_. Shit, Ruki couldn’t help giggling again, but Uruha shut him up with a kiss, trapping his lip between his teeth. Ruki whimpered, and the electricity in his brain buzzed into his face, making his whole face tingle as he closed his eyes and thrusted into Uruha’s hands. Uruha rolled Ruki’s lip between his teeth. Ruki gasped, and Uruha took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Ruki’s mouth, tickling Ruki’s tender lip on the inside. Ruki slid his own tongue against Uruha’s marveling in the slide of saliva. Why was something normally so gross suddenly the sexiest thing on the planet? Ruki broke away, planing to ask his question, but his train of thought was lost as Uruha sped up his hands over Ruki. “Ah, I’m going to cum already.”

“Go on then,” said Uruha, breath heavy against Ruki’s ear.

His whole face felt fuzzy, like the static trapped in the television somehow found itseld buzzing along his cheekbones, up over his forehead, and into his scalp as he gasped and let himself melt in Uruha’s hands. His skin was tense and relaxed all at once, like the sticky putty feeling warm wax, existing between the states of liquid and solid. For a second, Ruki couldn’t think about anything at all, and it was the most wonderful moment of his life.

It was quiet for a moment, as quiet as it could be with the two of them breathing heavily and Ruki watching his own cum drip off Uruha’s cheek in amazement before he broke the silence, “Shit.”

“Yeah.”

Ruki watched the cum soak into his comforter. “No, I mean, p-p-p-please clean that up. Mom will get mad and she’ll hit me. Dad will kill me.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry.” Ruki casted his eyes down, trying to look anywhere but at the evidence of his own pleasure. It was a sin, according to his parents. He’d never felt more pure, though. Strange, that. The older he got, the less it seemed his parents knew anything about how the world actually worked.

“No, you’re right. Just-“

“Hold on.” Ruki grabbed Uruha’s wrist and pulled his close, kissing him one more time. “I don’t think masturbating alone is ever going to feel worth my time again.”

Uruha laughed at that, “You have a unique way of talking, Ruki.”

Ruki smiled, blush rising to his cheek again. He had heard that one before, but it sounded different when Uruha said it, eyes shining and lungs breathless. Like this, it sounded like a compliment. “Okay, now go clean off your face before Mom and Dad come home.”

“Yeah, okay.” Uruha dashed out of the room, and just as Ruki heard him close the bathroom door, Ruki heard the front door open. Ruki scrambled off the bed for his pants, throwing them on as quickly as he could.

Just in time.


	2. Smoke and Mirrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaisbeast suggested that there might be more to this story. I think they were right. Hope you guys enjoy.

Ruki starts rebelling in little ways at first. That’s always how it goes, doesn’t it? Testing the limits, testing the line, trying to figure out where it is and then with it feels like to step on the other side of it.

It starts with a Uruha, and in that way he guesses he starts in a big way, totally jumping over the line. But that’s not that first thing his parents find out about.

It starts with Uruha, yes, but from his parents perspective, he supposes it starts with a CD.

Or maybe it started with Uruha giving him a ride home from school.

“Holy shit, is that him?”

Aoi has the eyes of a little kid in a candy shop when he sees the slick, black car roll up to the curb of the school, skidding slightly and exposing a familiar thigh as the gangly young man swings his leg out of his seat.

Ruki finds himself blushing. “Yeah, yeah that’s him.”

“Holy shit man you told me he was hot but I totally assumed you meant in like a gay way, you know? He’s like, objectively cool, dude.” Aoi’s kind of rambling, and Ruki can tell he’s ogling the car more then he is the man in question, but Ruki’s not complaining about that.

“Aoi, one day I’m going to slap you for saying shit like that and I’m not going to apologize.” Ruki shifts his backpack from one shoulder to the other, smiling at the eyes he knows are shining behind the sunglasses.

“Hey baby.” Uruha walks over to the two other boys, and Aoi gives Ruki this look that makes Ruki just want to melt into the ground with embarrassment because _baby_ is not a nickname Aoi is going to forget.

“Hey.” Ruki walk towards Uruha, leaving Aoi before he has an opportunity to open his mouth.

“I know you have a friend normally drop you off but your mom called and said he was sick today so I figured-“

“No, yeah, this is great.”

“And I mean, if you want, we could study at my house today. I mean, your mom said it was cool if you wanted to.”

Ruki can feel that’s he’s grinning in a way that probably shows one too many teeth, but he can barely give himself to give a shit. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

“Cool, yeah, okay.” Uruha holds out a hand, and Ruki takes it. His math may not be very good, but he’s pretty sure the amount of people who see them holding hands is potentially dangerous.

It feels pretty fucking amazing.

~

Uruha’s car smells like leather and it’s one of those scents that is just sexy. It just is. The interior is dark and the air conditioning is running just on the side of a little too cold but it’s kind of perfect and Ruki feels pretty badass as Uruha starts the car with a rumble of engine and a song with the bass pumped a little heavy. Uruha hands him a black leather booklet that Ruki opens, exposing too many CD’s for Ruki to full process, but Ruki is pretty sure if there is a heaven, this is what it’s like.

“Normally I say driver picks the music, but you’re a special guest.”

Ruki giggles at that, and smiles, “Me? Special? No way.”

“Yes way.”

“We’ll have to fight about that later.”

Uruha makes a sharp turn, and Ruki slides in his seat a little closer to Uruha, “Damn right we will.”

Ruki giggles again, flipping through the CD’s till one catches his eye. It’s the cover that grabs Ruki’s attention, really, with someone chained up to the ceiling, hands and arms embracing the person in a way that makes Ruki’s heart beat just a little faster. Ruki slips the CD from its cover and replaces the tunes, excited with something just on the edge of adrenaline.

“You a X Japan fan?”

“Um, I don’t know. I don’t really listen to music, much. It’s kind of a loud hobby. I don’t think my parents would appreciate it very much.”

“Oh, yeah. Parents.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you have good tastes by instinct, then.”

Ruki smiles.

The guitar speeds its way in a glide along with the wheels of the car as Uruha drives them out of the countryside and towards the city. That in and of itself makes Ruki’s eyes sparkle, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Uruha. “Ever been into the city?”

“Not really.”

“I live kind of on the edge. Don’t tell your parents?”

“Yeah, I can keeps a secret.”

The drum thrums something of and unsteady beat, and Ruki feels like for once his heart is beating like it’s supposed to.

~

Uruha’s apartment is video games and guitars treated like dirty clothes and wine flowing from the water filter. They sit on the couch, and the wine is red and when Ruki asks for some the “Sure baby,” seems to pop out far easier then the cork does as Ruki tries to turn it loose, Uruha eventually entangling his fingers with Ruki’s to finish the process.

“It tastes like electricity.”

Uruha just looks at Ruki when he says that, eyes staring without shame, and even though that should be rude, to Ruki it feels more respectful, somehow. For once, he feels truly seen.

They do math, kind of, Uruha’s handwriting getting shaky enough they realize they can pass it off as being Ruki’s own. It’s weird, because Ruki wants to kiss him, he really does, but they don’t kiss. They just sit close, text book laying across their criss-crossed legs, knees touching lightly and when it’s five o’clock and Uruha announces they don’t have to study anymore, Ruki thinks maybe now’s his chance. He leans in, closing his eyes, falling forward, only to be greeted with a hand on his chest.

“Hold on, you’re drunk. And we gotta talk about this when you’re sober.”

“What?”

“Well, you’re like fourteen, for one.”

“So?”

“I’m like twenty.”

“And?”

Uruha tipped his wine glass, the last of the contents slipping past his lips, “I don’t know, we should just talk about this when we’re clear headed and shit.”

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Like, what we are to each other, I guess?”

Ruki just kinda stared at Uruha’s thighs, at the little bit of skin that was only exposed when he sat down.

“You want to open another bottle?”

Ruki just laughed. “You don’t really care how old I am, do you?”

“I’m taking that as a yes.” Uruha stood up, and Ruki grabbed his wrist. It reminds him of that one time in his bedroom, and when their eyes meet, Ruki is pretty sure Uruha is thinking about the same moment.

“Hey, don’t assume my consent.”

“Do you want the wine?”

“I want a kiss.”

Uruha sighs, and Ruki releases his grip on Uruha’s wrist as he sits back down. “I guess we’re going to talk about this now.” Ruki smiles at that, and Uruha smiles back. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” There’s a moment of silence where their eyes meet, but Uruha takes his eyes away for the next sentence, as though to search of it. “So I guess I’ll start by asking if you like it when I call you cute.”

“I like it when you call me cute.”

“Nice.” Uruha’s fingernails click on the edge of the glass, and Ruki watches them with interest, his mind coming up with other things those fingers could be doing. “And you like when I kiss you?”

“Yes, very much.”

“And you want me to do it again?”

“Yeah.”

Uruha draws his finger around the edge of the glass. “So, like, do you want to be my boyfriend or like do you just wanna kiss and fuck and have me call you cute and kind of be friends?”

Ruki knows what he wants. He watches Uruha’s fingers trail around the edge of the glass and it’s not even really a real question. But it occurs to him Uruha hasn’t said a thing about what he wants. “Well, what do you want?”

“Oh no, you’re the minor here. I don’t want influence your answer.”

“Maybe I don’t want to influence your answer.”

Uruha sighs, tucking his hair behind his ear. “There are, like, legal reasons you should answer first, Ruki.”

Uruha leans forward. Ruki stares down at the exposed v of his upper chest, at the silver necklace and the slight glint it reflects off into the world. He breathes, and exhales, “I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Shit.”

It’s quiet for a minute. The air is heavy, and Ruki feels a little dizzy as he scoots closer to Uruha. Uruha looks at him again, and Ruki puts his hand on Uruha’s knee. “What about you? Do you want to be boyfriends?”

“I’d really like to be boyfriends Ruki, I really would.” His hand comes up, holding Ruki’s against his knee. “It just, it won’t be easy.”

“If love was easy, I don’t think there’d be so many love songs.”

Uruha kissed him, then. It was sudden, and yet Ruki was way more prepared then he had been the first time they kissed. It didn’t feel at all like it had last time, though. It was like kissing through fishnets, where there’s a sense that there’s some part of the whole experience that isn’t quite reaching the skin. Ruki kinda liked it anyway. Movies don’t have to be in color to be worth watching.

Ruki found himself in Uruha’s lap, Uruha resting his head on the armrest of the couch. It was kinda awesome, being over him instead of under him, but what was better was the way Uruha opened his mouth and if Ruki crooked his head to the side just a little bit they could line up their lips just right and it was like the space for their tongues was one and the same. It even tasted the same, in a faded sort of way. When Uruha drew his tongue back into his own mouth, Ruki wasn’t sure if he was lightheaded from lack of oxygen in his lung or in his blood.

“That was special.”

“Fuck yeah it was.” Uruha smiled, his eyes were that kind of glazed that made Ruki want to switch brains with him just to see what he was looking at.

“I have a question.”

“You got the brain power left for that?” Uruha pulled Ruki down so Ruki was laying on Uruha.

“Ah!” Ruki fell forward, all his weight against Uruha, and it made him realize how small Uruha really was under him.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Uruha wrapped his arm around Ruki’s shoulder, holding him closer. “What was this question?”

“Do you… do you think I’m attractive?”

Uruha looked at the little boy in him arms, thrown off by the question. “Of course, what kind of question is that?”

“I don’t know. It’s… it’s nothing.”

Ruki was kind of hoping the question would just be forgotten, but he could feel Uruha still staring at him, and he was almost about to mention how awkward it was when Uruha nudged Ruki in the chest with his shoulder. “Come on. We’re going to my room.”

“Uh, okay.” Ruki hopped off the couch, and Uruha grabbed Ruki’s wrist, tugging him down the hall.

“Stand there, okay?”

“Uruha, what-“

“Just, stand there for a minute.”

“Yes sir.”

Uruha only stopped for a moment before he dashed off around the room, leaving Ruki to stare at his own reflection. He shifted awkwardly, hands in fist and digging into his nails. He kind of wanted to look in the mirror, but he hated his own reflection and he didn’t want to see those disappointed eyes staring back at him, so he decided to focus on his shoes.

“Okay, I want you to look in the mirror now, Ruki.”

“Ah, okay, yeah.” Ruki looked up, only to find Uruha standing between him and mirror. “What was that, Ruki?”

“Um, yes sir.”

“Good boy.” Uruha grinned, and Ruki could feel himself blush as Uruha stepped out of the way and allowed the mirror to reflect.

“Did you catch him, Ruki? Did you see him?”

“Yeah, yeah I did.” And he had, he had seen the boy in the mirror with cheeks tinted baby pink and eyes sparkling with something between mischief and genuine kindness, but he was only there for a moment before he was replaced with the absolute in front of him.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?”

“But he looks like garbage, now.”

“Hmmmmmm… well, how about we make him sexy garbage?” Uruha came up behind him, putting a hand on Ruki’s hip as he stood behind him. “What do you say, Ruki? You think I can do it? Will you let me try?”

“Okay, you can try.”

“Nice.” Uruha stepped back in front of him, a black pencil in his hand. “Close your eyes, Ruki. And try not to flinch. I’m just going to outline a few of your best qualities.”

Ruki closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath with Uruha’s hand wrapped around his wrist again. It was warm, heavy, steadying, in stark contrast to the chill the pencil was leaving behind on his face. And was that a liquid? Ruki wasn’t sure.

“Okay, I have one more thing I want to do, but I want you to open your eyes and give me your opinion first. Look down, though. You aren’t allowed to see yourself yet.”

Ruki faced his feet and opened his eyes, greeted with two tubes of lipstick. “You have color you like better?”

“Do the red.”

“Sweet, okay, close your eyes again and look up.” 

Ruki did as he was told, and he left Uruha smear the wax against the thin skin of his lip.

“Okay, open your eyes.”

Ruki did, and in the mirror stared back a face he hadn’t seen before. His face.

“That’s me.”

“Yeah, that’s you.”

Ruki smiled and turned to Uruha. “Will you show me how to put it on?”

Uruha smiled back. “Yeah, of course Ruki.”

~

When Uruha dropped him off back at home, he left Ruki with a bag of makeup, a cd with a riquse cover, and a bottle of pills that were supposed to help if the alcohol made Ruki feel like shit later.

A week later, he stood in the backyard, tears leaving dark streaks down his face as his Dad told him to throw them in the fire before he threw Ruki in.

He watches as the flames replace the hands and caress the man on the cd case. And that’s the moment he decides he’s finally going to ask Uruha if he’ll do it.

He would pray for Uruha to say yes, but he’s pretty sure there’s no god that wants to hear him cry.


	3. The Wormhole Outside the Milkshake Bar

“I’m just going to be permanently sick at this point. I’ve accepted my fate.” Kai blows his nose, leaving the crumpled tissue on the picnic table.

“Dude, you should totally get me sick. I need a day off school. I think the new chapter of One-Piece is coming out and I need, like, the whole day to process it.”

Ruki smirks, hiding his face behind his lunchbox. “Are you asking Kai to kiss you, Aoi?”

Aoi’s snaps his face to glare at Ruki, eyes narrow. “Um, I’m not gay, Ruki.”

“Uh-huh.” Ruki doesn’t actually eat his lunchbox, he brings it and throws out the food in the trash because, well, it’s easier then the alternative.

“I’m not gay, though.”

Kai rolls his eyes, looking at Ruki. “Speaking of which, how are things going for you and your tutor.”

“Ah, you know-“

Aoi interrupts Ruki, eyes bright and excited like they get when he talks about comics. “Dude, his tutor picked him up from school the other day and I can vouch that he is the most badass fairy I have ever seen.”

“Kai, can you punch Aoi in the face for me?”

Kai picked back up his tissue and blew his nose again.

Aoi turned back to Kai. “Oh, and you missed Ruki’s brief geisha stint.”

Ruki closed the manga he was reading and stood up, starting to round the table when Kai put a hand between Ruki and Aoi. “Deep breath, Ruki. Aoi’s just being an ass because he’s jealous.” Ruki glared at Aoi, who was glaring at Kai.

“How many times do I have to tell you guys I’m not fucking gay?”

“I don’t know, how many times do you have to tell us before you let yourself out of the closet?” Aoi looked up at Ruki, who had his arms crossed, weight on one leg.

“Okay guys, that’s enough. Besides, what’s got you so pissed, Ruki?”

“Ah, well, my parents found some stuff Uruha gave me. They had me… get rid of it.”

“Shit man, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Aoi’s eyes were wide with concern, and Ruki could feel himself calming down. Aoi may have the language of an asshole, but Ruki knew somewhere in there was a man who was anything but.

“It’s okay. I mean, I just, I’m thinking about asking Uruha if I can move in with him or something. I don’t know, I just can’t really take it anymore.”

“Hold on, but if you do that won’t that get Uruha in trouble, too?”

“I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Look, shitty as it is, you might just have to stick it out. Besides, we don’t really know a lot about Uruha yet.”

“Yeah, devil you know, you know?” Aoi slid a pair of sunglasses on and started packing up his lunch.

Ruki ran a hand through his hair, walking back to his side of the table. “I don’t know guys, I feel like I can’t be myself around my parents. And when I’m not myself, it… it’s just bad.”

“Tell you what, I think that theater that shows those foreign films you like got some new horror film. How about we all go, you invite Uruha, and then we can all hang out and get milkshakes or something afterwards. It’ll be, like, a mini vacation, and we’d get to meet him and maybe get a beat on what your options are. Think you can hang in there until the weekend?”

“Yeah, okay.”

The bell rang, and Kai started backing up his stuff. “Sweet, let him know, okay? I’m excited to meet him.”

“Yeah, okay.” Ruki picked up his lunch, and threw it out on his way back inside.

~

“Hold on baby, you’ve missed a step.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry.”

“That’s okay.” Uruha slipped another Hello Panda out of the box between them, sliding the paper over to himself and scribbling something in the margin before turning it back to Ruki and trying to explain what he had done. If Ruki was staring at Uruha’s Adam’s Apple, Uruha didn’t notice.

Or maybe the way he was leaning forward over the table was a sign he had.

“Hey, Uruha, can I ask you a question?”

“I mean, that’s kind of what I’m here for.”

“It’s not about math.”

“Oh, okay, what is it?”

“Um, my friends and I are going to a movie on Saturday. I was wondering if maybe you’d want to come with us? They really want to meet you.”

Uruha smiled, crunching down on the chocolate. “That sounds fun, yeah. You want me to meet you guys there?”

“Yeah, Kai thinks that’s probably for the best.”

“Sounds like a plan. I think your mom is coming back soon.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Sorry about the boring day, I just feel like if your parents are paying me to teach you math I should at least make an attempt.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

Uruha stood up, running his hand through Ruki’s hair. “See you this weekend.”

Ruki smiled, watching as Uruha left the house. He turned back to the table, noticing a bright pink sticky-note stuck to the table. Ruki picked it up. It had a string of math problems on it and at the bottom a small message.

_It’s my phone number, if you can figure it out. Good luck baby._

“Asshole.” Ruki whispered to no one in particular, stuffing the sticky note in his pocket as he heard the door open again and his mom announce she was home.

~ 

He saw him standing at the candy counter, hand reaching for his wallet in his back pocket, dressed like a raven, slick, dark, and absolutely dazzling.

“That’s him.” Aoi pointed, and Kai turned away from the ticket counter to look where the finger was pointing.

“Cool, let’s go.”

The candy counter felt way too far away and yet too close all at once, and Ruki found himself mentally distracting himself by thinking how cool it would be if time didn’t just feel like it bent around the two of them but if it actually did and generally trying to visualize space-time because holy shit was Kai shaking Uruha’s hand when did that happen?

“Hey there baby.” Uruha smiled at Ruki and Ruki felt himself blushing, and he was having trouble hearing much past his own heartbeat if he was being honest. “You guys ready?”

“Hell yes, let’s roll guys.” Aoi dashed off down the hallway, Kai chasing after him.

Uruha looked both ways before bending down to kiss Ruki’s cheek. “Your friends are cute.”

“Cute?”

“Don’t worry, your still the cutest.” Uruha squeezed Ruki’s hand. “Let’s go see a movie.” Uruha headed down the hallway after Ruki’s friends, Ruki trailing along behind both of them and trying to process the fact that this was actually his reality.

~

Movie theaters make for awesome dates, especially if you’re a sort of under-cover couple. Ruki liked thinking about it like that. It made him feel like a secret agent and kind of cancelled out some of the sadness.

Uruha held his hand the whole time, and Ruki could stare at Uruha as long as he wanted without anyone noticing anything weird, and he got to see the most beautiful face in the world do an awesome range of expressions.

“Okay, I get why you like American movies.” The lights turned back on, and Ruki smiled. “I know, right? They’re awesome.”

Kai and Aoi were standing up and gathering all their things, heading down the stairs, but Ruki just stared at Uruha, who stared a him, eyes flickering to his lips, Ruki licking his own. 

“I wish I could kiss you.”

“Me too.”

“Guys, you coming?” Kai called up from the bottom of the stairs.

“Yeah!” Uruha shouted, standing up and pulling Ruki to his feet with one hand and a bittersweet smile.

~

Aoi loved Uruha’s car. He had called shotgun, but Kai told him not to be an asshole and pulled him into the backseat. Kai thought Uruha’s music was super cool, and flipped through the big leather booklet with a sort of reverence and amazement an artist did their idols portfolio. They got three milkshakes and Aoi called them gross when Uruha and Ruki bumped noses, and it was awesome.

Kai was the one who brought the mood down about halfway through his milkshake. “So, has Ruki told you about your employer?”

“Uh, what?”

“His parents had him burn the stuff you gave him.”

“What the fuck, really?” Uruha turned to Ruki, and Ruki looked down at the table.

“Yeah. I went over to his house once, but my parents won’t let me go back because we broke a vase and his mom slapped him. She threatened to tell his dad and said he would be worse if he didn’t take it.”

“Shit.”

Ruki stood up, leaving the milkshake bar and his friends behind. Kai had said he would tell Uruha, and he thought he could handle it, but he couldn’t. There was a shift in the air, already in that instant, and Ruki had never felt more sick to his stomach then he did in that moment. And when he vomited on the sidewalk, he felt even more confused and dizzy and thought that maybe, if he was lucky, then Uruha wouldn’t think of him any differently. If he was lucky though, he wouldn’t have thrown up all over the sidewalk.

“Ruki?” There was a hand on his back, long and limber, and Ruki started crying.

“I feel sick.”

“Okay, can you look at me?”

And Ruki did, a string of mucus, milkshake, and saliva hanging off his chin, tears streaking his cheeks, skin pale in a way that would have been attractive if Uruha didn’t know what it meant.

“Thank you. Kai’s mom is coming to pick up Aoi and Kai, and I think we should go to my place and talk. We don’t even have to talk. But I think we should go get you cleaned up, okay?”

Ruki laughed, sniffling and nodding. It wasn’t the giggle Uruha had come to love, but crazed, head thrown back and teeth everywhere. “How much did they tell you?”

“They told me about your parents. What you told Aoi and Kai during a game of truth or dare once. They said you thought it was normal.”

“It is, though. It is for me.”

“I know, Ruki. I know.”

Ruki curled over, vomiting again, this time with Uruha’s hand on his back. 

“I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to, Ruki. I’ll help you, yeah? Your battles are my battles.”

Ruki took deep breath, tears chilling onto his face in the cool night air, a familiar chant echoing in his ears.

_We’re breaking you in. Other people won’t want something someone else broke. We’re protecting you. We’re making you stronger. God knows you need it._

There were hands on his waist, and he both loved them and hated them all at once, and if space-time did bend around Uruha and Ruki, Ruki was pretty sure this moment was a wormhole.


End file.
